Hooray for Captain Spaulding

Saturday, May 31, 2003


An interesting note on how "walk this way" joke is used in Young Frankenstein. Normally the way the joke is performed is the straight man says "Walk this way" and the comedian imitates his walk (or says "If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powder."). The one saying "Walk this way" means it in the usual sense.

The twist in Young Frankenstein is Marty Feldman says "Walk this way". After walking, he then hands Gene Wilder his cane and pantomimes how to walk like him. In this case, the joke is that the person saying "walk this way" meant it in the literal sense rather than the person he's saying it to interpreting it in the literal sense.

Well, I thought it was interesting.

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This LA Times review of the LA production of the The Producers reminds me that I've been remiss and have not posted my reviews of the show. I liked it a lot. First, the material is strong enough that it can withstand the weakest performances. The production numbers were great (They even managed to replicate the Busby Berkley-esque dancers dancing in the shape of a swastika). The "Springtime for Hitler"number is expanded to be even better than ever (helped by the decision to make the gay director Hitler rather than a hippie). Jason Alexander gives a good performance. Martin Short at his best reminds one of Gene Wilder's manic energy, at his worst throws in various Martin-Short-Ed-Grimbley-esque business that I'm reasonably sure wasn't in the script. The greatest thing on Broadway ever, no but it is a great time at the theater.

The review accuses the show of stealing the "walk this way" joke from Young Frankenstein. That statement is not only ignorant of the fact that, as Max Power says, "that joke is older than Mel Brooks" (I'll go one better; it's as old as the expression itself) but the fact that that joke was used six years earlier in the original Producers movie!

And it's used in practically all his movies since. He even says in the director's commentary of Young Frankenstein "I use that dopey joke in all my movies."

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Wednesday, May 28, 2003


An LA Times article about how comedies and specifically Bruce Almighty are unappreciated by the critics. My problems with the article are as follows:
  1. For every comedy classic they list that was panned, I can come up with nine that were panned and deserve it. Nobody's retracting their crticism of Up the Academy.
  2. Just because Lost in America was unjustly slammed doesn't make Bruce Almighty a good movie. To quote James Randi about cranks, "Yes, they laughed at Gallileo and they laughed at Einstein; but they also laughed at Bozo the Clown."
  3. The reasons given for comedies not doing well critic-wise are the standard "People don't realize how hard comedy is to do." The thing is most of the criticism I've read of Bruce Almighty is that there aren't enough jokes. That's also been my criticism of the new In-Laws. Why does comedy need to have life lessons? I just watched the orginal version of The In-Laws. You know what Alan Arkin learned at the end of the movie? Not a goddamned thing!
  4. The article quotes Ebert's bad review of Patch Adams but conveniently leaves out his good review of Bruce Almighty.
  5. Since when is Life Is Beautiful not a comedy? It's not a funny comedy, granted. I bet the jokes-to-schmaltz ratio of Life Is Beautiful is about the same as Bruce Almighty

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Bob Geldof called President Bush one of "Africa's best friends in its fight against hunger and AIDS." I'm sure there's a pipeline conspiracy to explain this policy.

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In Bruce Almighty, Jim Carrey plays a guy who thinks God is out to get him. After having sat through Bruce Almighty, I know how he feels.

In addition to the lessons of "appreciate your blessings" and "donate blood", there's a slight Sullivan Travels theme where one of the blessings/gifts Carrey should apreciate is his ability to make people laugh. He is told this once by Jennifer Aniston and once by Morgan Freeman that he can make people laugh; the audience is tempted to add "Not in this movie, necessarily..."

When the bloopers played during the credits aren't funny, that has to prove something.

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Bob Hope's quip for his 100th birthday (source here):
I'm so old, they've canceled my blood type.
No report yet on whether Hope considers this "wild" or "something else."

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Sunday, May 25, 2003


Imagine if someone remaking The Odd Couple made the decision to focus a B-story on the ex-wives and thus less attention on the crazy, mismatched roommates. A similar strategy was used in the remake of the In-Laws; making Mrs. Spy wacky and including a plotline of trouble between the engaged couple takes away valuable time of what's supposed to be the main concept of the wacky adventures of a spy and his nebbishy future in-law. Having the characters experience "growth" and learn a life lesson from the adventure also subtracts from time spent on shenanigans.

Albert Brooks is funny with what little material he is given. Michael Douglas hopefully has a good T-Mobile plan what with having phoned in his role. The movie ends with a prison rape joke.

Contrary to my expectation, Albert Brooks does not ask not to be shot due to his podiatry career.

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The 1959 John Ford movie The Horse Soldiers provides an interesting contrast between movie-making then and now. At one point, a Confederate colonel drafts the students of a boys school to help provide a show of force until back-up regiments show up. The reverend/schoolmaster gives the order to his "major" (age 16), covering his face in regret when alone. Fresh-faced, clean-uniformed lads(minus two who have the mumps) march off to war. A mother begs to have her son not go as he's all she has left. The twelve-year-old lad is relieved of duty and dragged home protesting; he sneaks out to return to his unit.

If this film had been made today, most of that unit would be dead. At minimum, the returning boy would have been killed. William Holden's Army doctor character would be treating wounded children and he and John Wayne would make war-is-hell speechs.

Instead John Wayne seeing that the attacking unit is filled with kids orders a retreat and slaps away the rifle of a soldier who was going to shoot at the reverand ("At least, that reverand ain't a kid."). The I-thought-destined-to-be-dead lad is captured.
SOLDIER: What should we do with this prisoner, sir?
JOHN WAYNE: Spank him!
I am not saying one is better than the other. Just different. And the film did have war-is-hell scenes. It's just interesting that the kiddy cannon fodder were spared.

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Friday, May 23, 2003


The New York Times defines "cameltoe" in this article.

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Sunday, May 18, 2003


NY Times article about a petition to have Lenny Bruce officially pardoned by the State of New York.

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Friday, May 16, 2003


From a Bob Costas interview with Jerry Seinfeld (source here):
Costas asks Seinfeld if he thinks his show would have been given time to succeed if it was to premiere today instead of in 1990.
"Has 'Friends' been on too?" Seinfeld asks.
"Yeah, 'Friends' has been on," Costas replies.
"Really," answers Seinfeld, "so they managed to steal it without seeing it!"

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Thursday, May 15, 2003


Talking of succession issues, this month's Atlantic Monthly has an article about continuity-in-government scenarios by Washington and Norman Ornstein's attempts to reform it. Conside this:
For instance, the Constitution says that the House may conduct official business only when a quorum is present—currently at least 218 of the 435 members. Since the Civil War, however, the House parliamentarian has interpreted a quorum as a majority of members "elected, sworn, and living," in Ornstein's words. Ornstein finds this interpretation not only constitutionally dubious but also, in practical terms, absurd. "You could end up with, say, eight members being alive—five of them constituting a quorum," he says. Imagine a three-person quorum consisting of the ultraconservatives Tom DeLay, Ernest Istook, and Dan Burton—or of the leftists Maxine Waters, Charles Rangel, and Nancy Pelosi.
Now, we all know that after Speaker of the House and Senate president pro tempore, the line of succession goes down the cabinet. But did you know this:
"You have a provision in this law," Ornstein says, "which is just mind-boggling---that if you go down to the Cabinet level to fill the presidency, the speaker can at any subsequent point bump that person and assume the office." In other words, if a catastrophe made Secretary of State Colin Powell acting President, a quorum of Burton, Istook, and DeLay could elect DeLay the new speaker, and he could elbow President Powell right out of office.
Read, as the kids say, the whole thing.

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Some thoughts on last night's West Wing:
  1. I'm wondering if the show wasn't a goof on 24, especially if NBC had used that show as an example of the sort of exciting storylines they wanted. The episode's title was "25" and had periodic captions that read "Hour One", "Hour Two" and so forth
  2. What was the point of John Goodman's World War I speech? If he's trying to say he won't go to war over the death/kidnapping of a President's daughter, that clearly contradicts his two-minute-before statement that he'd shoot down any plane that looked suspicious.
  3. An interesting touch: One of the Cabinet member's who piped up (played by Harry Groener aka the Mayor from Buffy) had played the Secretary of Agriculture in a first season episode.
  4. Recalling a quip by Josh Marshall, it's a good thing the show has consultants to let us know that terrorists, when kidnapping a member of the First Family, fax their demands to the Deputy Chief of Staff.

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Wednesday, May 14, 2003


Amongst the many features of the new twenty-dollar bill is that the twenty does not just represent the value of the bill but also the number of times the word "Nina" is hidden on the Andrew Jackson portrait.

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Monday, May 12, 2003


Today is my one-year blog-aversary. Not that you call or write or even send a postal card.

Special thanks to all the wonderful folk who linked to me and spread the good word. If you've enjoyed reading this blog half as much as I've enjoyed writing it, then I enjoyed it twice as much as you did.

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The below post reminds me of a project I'm working on. It's a buddy comedy starring Alan Arkin, Albert Brooks, Charles Grodin, and Billy Crystal. Together all four of them get into wacky situations and complain about them. It's called Are You Crazy?
GRODIN: Are you crazy?!?!?
ARKIN: Am I crazy?!? Are you crazy?!?!?
CRYSTAL: What's the matter with you both?!?!?! Are you crazy?!?!?!
BROOKS: Are all of you crazy?!?!?!?
And it just goes on like that for 90 minutes. I plan this as a franchise series of films; potential sequels are What's Happening to Me? and I Don't Believe This!

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I don't remember if I've actually seen the dialogue in the trailer, but I believe the remake of the In-Laws features Albert Brooks saying "Don't shoot, I'm a podiatrist." This raises the question: Why does every comedy with a doctor in crazy shenanigans have said doctor say "Don't shoot, I'm a [medical specialty]." Analyze This had it. The original In-Laws had it. Why would being a member of the medical profession make you immune to being shot at?

I don't know whether the new In-Laws will be any good (Well, I can guess). The original, however, is very funny.

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Friday, May 09, 2003


Mark Evanier, in this post, alludes to a missing scene in the Marx Brothers movie Horse Feathers. I had read the alluded-to Joe Adamson's fantastic but alas out-of-print Groucho, Harpo, Chico and Sometimes Zeppo (which features a Nausea Rating of the male love interests) but did not remember any discussion of a British version.

Indeed, Adamson does not allude to a British vs American version; however he does discuss a Harpo sequence removed from the print by "the television people". Could I possibly have been deprived of a piece of Harpo shtick all my life? I watched the video tape and, indeed, the described sequence is missing. It occurs during the parody of a bedroom scene (Knock, knock, knock. "Quick, hide!") Here is how Adamson described it:
Harpo's adventures with Connie are no less a sideshow: he does headstands in Connie's lap and makes faces at her and hides behind her on the couch; Groucho asks directions of her and watches assorted arms point in three directions at once (he comes looking for sex and gets a brahma); the rubbers[galoshes that Groucho keeps taking off and putting on] find their way to Harpo's feet (they never get there, they're just there) and when Groucho can't locate his own feet he replaces the rubbers on Connie's feet again (he thinks Harpo's feet are Connie's feet)).
Horse Feathers is historically interesting as it is the only Marx Brothers movie to feature Groucho playing the guitar. Adamson suggests that this was done to show Chico and Harpo how silly the piano and harp solos looked. The best proof for this hypothesis is that the next movie Duck Soup features neither piano nor harp.

UPDATE: Joe Adamson writes to Mark Evanier here promising a new version of the book with descriptions of additional missing footage from Night at the Opera and Animal Crackers.

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Wednesday, May 07, 2003


EW ran an article in this week's issue about the surprising number of Hollywood blockbusters coming out with R-ratings, especially the Matrix sequel and T3, and the possiblity of more forthcoming if these are successful. Were I the dishonest head of a major studio, I would open a PG-rated film on the same day as an R-rated blockbuster and get the teenage buy-a-PG-ticket-and-sneak-into-the-R-theater audience.

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Tuesday, May 06, 2003


An LA Times article about Carl Reiner. The article confirms that Reiner has written his promised episode-set-nowadays of The Dick Van Dyke Show and plugs his new memoirs. Finding said memoirs on Amazon revels that Rose Marie has also written her memoirs.

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The only reason I post this USA Today article featuring "celebrity" analysis of the American Idol kids is to highlight the fact that Weird Al Yankovic has a new album coming soon.

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Saturday, May 03, 2003


The UPN Twilight Zone remade the classic "Eye of the Beholder" episode. This reminds me of an anecdote I heard (WARNING: Anecdote contains spoilers for forty-three-year-old television show): A guy's pitching a show to a network. During the pitch, he mentions Star Trek several times (as a comparison point for how earnest the acting on his show will be). Every time, he brings up Star Trek, a network executive at the meeting frowns. After the fourth Star Trek reference, this conversation happens
NETWORK EXECUTIVE: Now Star Trek, that was the show where every episode, the woman would take off her bandages and she'd be revealed to be beautiful.
GUY: I think you're thinking of Twilight Zone.
NETWORK EXECUTIVE: No, I don't think so.
Leaving aside whether a big time TV executive should have heard of Star Trek, the funny part is the idea that the bandage twist happens every episode. "Gee, I wonder what'll happen when she takes off the bandages this time."

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